Dr. Dave's History 101
by Kovacsgirl
Summary: Dave tries to teach history, hands on.


AUTHOR'S NOTE: OKAY, I'M TRYING THIS FOR FUN; I HAVE NO IDEA WHERE IT MIGHT GO! I CHOSE THE 50S MAINLY BECAUSE OF THE RED SCARE, AS YOU WILL SEE. I ALSO THOUGHT IT WOULD BE FUNNY THAT DAVE TAUGHT IT! IF I GET POSITIVE FEEDBACK, I'LL CONTINUE INTO THE 60S.   
DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN ER OR MOST OF THE OTHER BRANDS BROUGHT UP IN THIS FIC. NOR IS IT MEANT TO INSULT ANYONE. I JUST WROTE IT FOR FUN. ENJOY!   
OTHER: I'D LIKE TO THANK THE REAL DR. DAVE (KLEIN) FOR SHARING HIS LOVE OF HISTORY AND WEALTH OF KNOWLEDGE WITH ME SO I COULD WRITE THIS FIC. THANK-YOU SO MUCH! ALSO, I'D LIKE TO THANK WHOEVER BOUGHT PETER JENNINGS' "THE CENTURY" FOR ME. WITHOUT IT, I'D BE LOST! THANK-YOU TO ALL THE WONDERFUL WEB SITE OWNERS WHO POST THIS FIC, AND THANK-YOU TO ALL MY GRACIOUS READERS, I WRITE FOR YOU!   
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DR DAVE'S HISTORY  
101  
TODAY'S LESSON: THE 50S.  
  
[KERRY] WHY DO WE HAVE TO TAKE A HISTORY CLASS, CONSIDERING WE'RE ALL DOCTORS?   
[LUCY] AND MED-STUDENTS!  
[ABBY] AND NURSES!  
[KERRY] WHATEVER!   
[CLEO] SO, WHO'S THE SPEAKER?   
[PETER] DR. DAVE KLEIN. APPARENTLY, HE'S REALLY FAMOUS!   
[CLEO] OH, OKAY.   
[CARTER] YOU KNOW, MED-STUDENTS MIGHT NEED TO BE TAKING THIS COURSE FOR CREDIT.   
[LUCY] NO.   
[CARTER] OH, OKAY.   
[DAVE] SORRY I'M LATE!  
[EVERYONE ELSE] DAVE!  
[DAVE] YEAH?   
[LUKA] WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?  
[DAVE] I'M TEACHING THIS COURSE.   
[LUKA] BUT YOU'RE A DOCTOR.   
[DAVE] NO, ACTUALLY, I'M A TEACHER.   
[KERRY] OKAY, THEN WE CAN FILL YOUR SPOT.   
[DAVE] JUST FOR TODAY.  
[KERRY] OKAY.   
[ROMANO (WALKING IN)] MALATUSQUEZIE! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?   
[KERRY] ROBERT, WE JUST WENT OVER THIS.   
[ROMANO] BUT I WASN'T HERE.   
[KERRY] HE'S TEACHING THE CLASS.   
[ROMANO] NO! HE'LL PROBABLY MAKE US ACT THIS OUT OR SOMETHING!   
[DAVE] OKAY, GOOD IDEA!   
[ROMANO] I HAD TO OPEN MY BIG MOUTH!   
[DAVE] YEAH, IT'S DESTINY.   
[MARK] I DON'T BELIEVE IN DESTINY.   
[DAVE] YOUR LOSS.  
  
***WE LIKE IKE!***   
  
[ABBY (DRESSED IN 50S HOUSEWIFE CLOTHES)] I LIKE IKE!   
[CARTER] I LIKE IKE BUTTONS! GET YOUR I LIKE I BUTTONS HERE!   
[DEB] OHHH! THERE HE IS!   
[ROMANO (DRESSED AS GENERAL EISENHOWER)] HELLO! OH HI! NICE TO YOU AGAIN! OH, YES IT WAS DIFFICULT TO LEAD THE ENTIRE US ARMY.   
[DAVE] IT'S THE EARLY 50S AND GENERAL DWIGHT D. EISENHOWER IS RETURNING FROM WAR.   
[CARTER] I THINK THAT WAS IN THE LATE 40S.   
[DAVE] I HAVE TO FILL SPACE, SO SUE ME. OH, BY THE WAY. YO IKE.   
[ROMANO] WHAT?   
[DAVE] WHAT DOES THE "D" STAND FOR?   
[ROMANO] HOW SHOULD I KNOW? I FAILED HISTORY!  
[DAVE] OY, NOW HE TELLS ME!   
  
***THE RED SCARE***   
  
[DAVE] A VERY PRESSING MATTER IN THE 20S THEN AGAIN IN THE 50S, WAS THE MATTER OF COMMUNISM.   
[PETER] OH, LOOK A COMMIE! LET'S BLACK LIST 'EM!   
[LUKA] AGH! NO! I'M NOT A COMMIE! I BELIEVE WHOLE-HEARTEDLY IN THE AMERICAN SYSTEM OF GOVERNMENT!   
[CLEO] OKAY, SO WHAT IS IT?   
[LUKA] WHAT?   
[CLEO] THE AMERICAN SYSTEM OF GOVERNMENT. WHAT TYPE IS IT?   
[LUKA (HOPEFULLY)] UM, SOCIALIST?  
[PETER] NO!   
[ABBY] BLACK LIST HIM!   
[LUKA] ABBY?   
[CARTER] DEPORT HIM!   
[LUKA] NO! SEE, I'M FROM CROATIA!   
[DEB] WHERE'S THAT?   
[LUKA] CROATIA. YOU KNOW, IN THE MEDITERRANEAN.   
[KERRY] YUGOSLAVIA! TAR AND FEATHER HIM!   
[LUKA (RUNNING)] NO! SAVE ME!   
[DAVE] HEE, HEE. THAT OUGHT TO LAST FOR A WHILE.   
  
***THE NUCLEAR SCARE***  
  
[DAVE] AFTER THE CREATION OF THE NUCLEAR BOMB AND ITS DETONATION ON JAPAN, AMERICANS WERE VERY SCARED OF A NUCLEAR HOLOCAUST.   
[MARK] AGH! SAVE US! THE WORLD IS COMING TO AN END!   
[ELIZABETH] RUN WHILE YOU CAN, CHICKEN LITTLE.   
[MARK] WHAT?   
[ELIZABETH] YOU KNOW, CHICKEN LITTLE, THE CHICKEN WHO THOUGHT THE WORLD WAS COMING TO AN END.   
[MARK] OH, OF COURSE.   
[ELIZABETH] CARRY ON.   
[MARK] THANK-YOU.   
[ELIZABETH] YOU'RE WELCOME.   
[MARK] OH NO! THE WORLD IS GOING TO END! SAVE US!   
  
***ELVIS!***  
  
[DAVE] MY BIG MOMENT!   
[DEB] GIRLS, THE CONCERT IS ABOUT TO BEGIN!   
[KERRY, LUCY, CLEO, ABBY] YESSSSSSS!   
[DAVE (SINGING)] THAT'S ONE FOR THE MONEY, TWO FOR THE SHOW, AND THREE TO GO!  
[ABBY] HE'S SOOOO HOT!   
[DEB (FAINTING)] AHHHH!  
[DAVE] OH, I'M NOTHING BUT A…HOUND DOG!   
[CLEO] I LOVE YOU ELVIS!   
[DAVE] OH YEAH!   
[CARTER] WHOA, HOLD ON. THAT NEVER HAPPENED!   
[DAVE] DID TOO!   
[CARTER] WELL, OF COURSE THE HAPPENED, BUT NOT TO YOU.  
[DAVE] TRUE… (TO BAND) COME ON, GUYS. DR. EINSTEIN HERE SAYS WE HAVE TO GO.   
[MARK (WITH A FRIZZY WIG)] HE'S NOT EINSTEIN, I AM!   
[DAVE] HOLD ON MARK, YOU COME IN NEXT.   
[MARK] WHEN? THIS WIG ITCHES.   
[DAVE] NOW.  
  
***EINSTEIN***   
  
[DAVE] THERE YOU GO.   
[MARK] FINALLY!   
[DAVE] AND NOW YOUR 15 MINUETS OF FAME ARE UP.   
[MARK] 'K. NOW I CAN TAKE THIS WIG OFF.   
  
***THE RED SCARE (AGAIN)***  
  
[LUKA] SAVE ME!   
[MOB] KILL THE EVIL RUSKIE!   
[PETER] THIS IS SO AMUSING!  
[LUKA (POINTING)] THERE'S THE EVIL ONE!   
[DARTH VADER] LUKA, I'M YOU'RE FATHER!   
[DAVE] STAR WARS DOESN'T COME 'TIL THE 70S. GO AWAY.   
[DARTH VADER] JESH! KEEP YOUR SHIRT ON.  
  
***TV***  
  
[ABBY] THIS BLACK AND WHITE TV IS SO BORNING ISN'T IT?   
[CLEO] YEAH. LET'S GET SOME COLOR.   
[DAVE] COLOR DOESN'T COME 'TIL THE 60S.   
[CLEO] SO?   
[ABBY] YEAH. LET'S GO GIVE SOMEONE THE *INSPIRATION*   
[CLEO] OKAY.   
[ABBY] YOU KNOW, YOU AREN'T SO BAD.   
[CLEO] THANKS.   
[DAVE] CAME BACK!  
[DARTH VADER] YOU CALLED?   
[DAVE] NO!!!!  
[DARTH VADER] SON, WHY IS THAT MAN HITTING HIS HEAD ON THE WALL? MAYBE HE SHOULD USE MY HELMET.   
[LUKA] I DON'T KNOW. AND I'M NOT YOUR SON!   
  
***SPUTNIK***  
  
[MARK] OH, WHAT'S THAT?   
[LUKA] OH, A SATALITE!   
[ELIZABETH] IT'S SO PRETTY!   
[ABBY] BIG WHOOP. CLEO AND I HAVE COLOR TV!   
[CLEO] YEAH. LETS WATCH ER!   
[EVERYONE] YEAH!   
(ER THEME MUSIC IS HEARD)   
  
[DAVE] WELL, I GUESS THAT'S ALL. SEE ALL OF YOU LATER!   



End file.
